Chicfinds friendship

Beautiful things


I am a big fan of BellaMumma; They have some great posts about beauty, life and all those girly things. I am often reminded by them of the girly treasures we don’t have time for anymore as we get older and our lives get busier. Despite all the business, I am never too busy for a true friend. But someone needs to tell me where they are these days.  I miss greatly friendship in my adult life. Friends use to be something you took for granted, they would always be there. Being popular was a norm and having lots of girlfriends was a part of life. Now it seems the hardest thing to find. A good friend. One that will hang out your washing, cook you a dinner, be a shoulder to cry on, read your blog and be genuinely interested in you! Understand you and what moves you. Ty and make a new friend and it will take 5 arrangements just to have coffee and each time they cancel it will be with a text message! That’s how we communicate now, texts, emails. What happened to picking up the phone yet alone meeting face to face. Soon people wont know how to communicate without screens, keyboards or something to hold on too. I am not so sure this way of sharing is the way forward. When the busy life stops being so busy it looks lonely this way!
 The following exert is from BellaMumma “As we grow, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.
Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are the ones who matter most. 
 1. They face problems together. – A person who truly knows and loves you – a real friend – is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes the smile on your face. Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.
2. They give what they can because they truly care. – One of the biggest challenges in relationships comes from the fact that many of us enter a relationship in order to get something. We try to find someone who’s going to make us feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last, and give us joy in the long-term, is if we see our relationship as a place we go to give, and not just a place we go to take. Yes, of course it is okay to take something from a relationship too. But both sides should be giving. It can only be a ‘give and take’ if BOTH SIDES are GIVING. That’s the key.
3. They make time for each other. – It’s obvious, but any relationship without any face time is going to have problems. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you, they will create one for you.
4. They offer each other freedom. – A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
5. They communicate effectively. – It’s been said many times before, but it’s true: great communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship. If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities. If you have expectations of your partner, you must communicate them. If there are any problems whatsoever, you must communicate them and work them out. And communicate more than just problems – communicate the good things too.
6. They accept each other as is. – Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety, and it hurts. A real friend is someone who truly knows you, and loves you just the same. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. If you feel like changing something about your friend, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead.
7. They are genuine, and expect genuineness. – Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt. Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Always be open, honest, and genuine.
8. They compromise. – Real friends meet in the middle. When there’s a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties – a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to
change or completely give in.

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It’s a cliche; but life is full of challenges. You turn one corner to find there is something else that needs your attention. Making friends is not an overnight business when your older. Ultimately you only have a small amount of time for all the different parts of your life and so it has to be real. It has to have integrity and it has to be something you believe in. Sharing feelings over an email or text message just doesn’t cut it!